Blogging recapture completed!
December 31, 2016 Saturday
Remember way back when, when I said I was gathering all my blog posts across LiveJournal, MySpace, deviantART, and whatnot, and bringing them here? I finished!
There are now over 1000 blogs posts on Raven-Wing.net from the past eleven years. DAMN.
Earliest post is from August 2005. During my GaiaOnline days. My online forum RPG days. Oy... GaiaOnline is a bit of a progressive liberal cesspool and I really was not welcome there outside of the RP threads. The mere fact I was born in Alabama made me a villain. Those psychos that are rioting and protesting everywhere really aren't anything new, those people have been around for years. But at least in my main RP thread, I was one of the regulars helping in the endless war of werewolves vs. vampires. Oh goodness, what an embarrassing mess! And, um, no, I was not some sissy vampire. Twilight hadn't really exploded on the scene yet, but the whiny, tortured stereotype was in full swing. I quite preferred the confident and badass werewolves. I had four accounts I played with, and never let them know I played all four. If any of my old buddies drops by and sees this post, um, surprise? It was me all along!
Good memories and bad memories. Back then, "cyber bullying" and "emotional abuse" wasn't really a thing. It happened in droves, but it wasn't a thing like it is today where they panic about it and haul in therapists, cops, and whatnot. Boy, could they bully and abuse too. In those days, if you were thin skinned enough to get upset about anything said to you online (or even in person, for that matter), it became even worse. As was when you tried to get advice online. Then there was the stigma for online dating...
A lot of very bad memories... I'm reminded why I'm so leery and harsh on certain subjects. My biggest regret in life will always be that I'm too nice and reserved. (Well, except for that one post where I went off on somebody making my family think I was suicidal and slutty when I wasn't.) I can't believe some of the things I've been put through. Why in the world would I ever want to work retail again too?? That one jerk jumping all over me because the manager didn't reprogram the system for a ten cent sale on french fries... I need to be a hermit. That's all there is to it. Hermitude is for me.
Part of me thinks it is very, very stupid to put some of those old posts back out there. But, what do I have to hide? Including old posts has a bit to do with coming to terms with my past as well. I have so many very bitter memories of being attacked physically and verbally, and descriptions of how various people said they would kill me and why. I'm not afraid of those twits, and I'm not going to pretend my life has been rainbows and butterflies. Of course, given the emotional abuse I've been put through it's hard for me to admit that I did have some unpleasant events in my past, because if I'm still alive and I wasn't locked in a cage or dismembered, then I have no right to complain or acknowledge what happened, right? Bloody hell, have I been put through some shit...
Some posts I did leave out. A few were from the Chipper_Skipper profile since they were a very harsh reaction to some bad Gaians. A few were personal posts from LiveJournal coping with problems at home. A few I added some vagueness to by changing names, such as the one and only time I ever worked for a large corporation.
Some say I'm too obsessed with the past. But, as George Santayana said, "those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it". And I see no point in reinventing the wheel if I already figured out how to do it before. I pick over the past so that I may create a better future.
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